i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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