nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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