OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
