doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
and she was petting her beer can
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
