the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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