i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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