5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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