There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
