Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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