Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
