girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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