forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
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