I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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