let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
soo... how was my night?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize