sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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