I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
