Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
