4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize