So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
