I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Randomize
