The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
My balls are so social today.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
