some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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