i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I need to wash the frat house off of me
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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