You're my little dorito
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
