Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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