I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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