i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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