Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
