what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
