i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
