First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I am naked and annoyed.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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