We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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