Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
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