Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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