She is in my trunk
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize