is your mom at the bar?
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
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