all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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