i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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