Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
