I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
