Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
