some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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