in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize