is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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