their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize
