Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Randomize
