he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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