im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
