Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
