he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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