I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Watching her eat just hurts me
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
