I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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