Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
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