Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
