therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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