Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize