I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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