so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
