Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
