I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
