Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize