Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
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